On Antidote, Anger, and Grief
On Antidote, Anger, and Grief
In every organization, anger and grief are part of the undercurrent.
They arise inevitably — from change, from disconnection, from unmet needs.
And to process them well, we need something essential:
dialogue. A conversation grounded in human strength and the will to reconnect.
On Antidote, Anger, and Grief
In every organization, anger and grief are part of the undercurrent.
They arise inevitably — from change, from disconnection, from unmet needs.
And to process them well, we need something essential:
dialogue. A conversation grounded in human strength and the will to reconnect.
The shock of transformation
Processes, structures, and routines are constantly redesigned.
Technology allows this to happen quickly, efficiently — often guided by systems and consultants who know what they're doing.
But we, the people within the system, are often left disoriented. Our inner world lags behind the outer shift.
We may not show it — we comply, contribute, even advocate for the “new normal.”
But inwardly, we’re not ready.
Our language, our images, our daily actions are still tied to what was.
We feel inadequate, frustrated.
We long for the simplicity, the familiarity, the clarity of “how it used to be.”
This friction leads to tension.
It surfaces as subtle resistance: gossip, silence, sarcasm, or strategic withdrawal.
Over time, these become part of the culture.
A culture where mistrust becomes normalized, where badmouthing is common,
where informal manipulation replaces shared responsibility.
The poison seeps in — not just into the system,
but into the soul of the work itself.
Leadership and the poison of silence
This poison must be addressed — and often, leaders are best positioned to absorb it, transform it, and hold the space for something new to emerge.
Too often, however, leaders become part of the problem.
Sometimes unknowingly, they contribute to the very grief and anger they should help process —
by dismissing feedback, avoiding discomfort, or prioritizing image over truth.
But another path is possible.
The antidote begins with conversation
By reintroducing open, honest conversation into our organizations,
we can begin to name what weighs us down — and rediscover what gives us life.
We can investigate the inner logics that shape our behavior,
and realign them with the external structures we are part of.
We can use the very tools that once divided us —
to begin healing:
- We gossip — until we see what serves and what harms.
- We name our distrust — so trust has a chance to grow.
- We examine our behaviors — to transform what undermines into what connects.
This is the work
This is not easy work.
It demands effort, patience, resilience, and care.
It calls for leadership that can bridge the hard logic of systems with the soft reality of human experience.
Togetherness begins with a real conversation.
Shared learning is the antidote.
René de Baaij
